Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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