I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
