It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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