DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Randomize
