You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
