Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
