Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
