I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The best revenge is premature balding
It was confusing and full of hummus
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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