I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
