I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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