What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
