dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
