do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
