yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize