She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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