i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I need water and some morals
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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