We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
