I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize