so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
