Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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