I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
