Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
