She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
two words...techno handjob
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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