Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
