I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
