haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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