And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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