At least make sure they are 18
Why
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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