Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
