I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
