I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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