so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
