So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
