I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Me too!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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