your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
