a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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