i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
