70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
