Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
