i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
