i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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