Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
