Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
