I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
