i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
