There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm going to jail i love you
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
