its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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