my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
