; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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