THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
