Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
