Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
