her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
