in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
