You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
