dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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