the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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