I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Vodka?
Forever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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